. By 8 PM I was at the Rosslyn Metro Station. There was a sign, "Take the opening for the Opening". So I set foot on the escalator. We were warned that it would take more than two and a half minutes to get to the bottom. The world's third longest escalator!As I slowly descended, I noticed that the walls were covered with a shiny pink plastic material. My doctor had shown a video of my colonoscope once. Intestinal walls? I was beginning to catch on to Vlad's scheme. We would be descending through an enormous simulated intestine.I now noticed a sound that was growing louder and louder. It seemed to be coming from speaker systems mounted every 10 feet or so. The frequency was gradually lowering, too. I could see the subway platform ahead as the frequency dropped into the subsonic. It was a good thing that I had taken a dump before leaving my friends' house, because I could feel the vibrations in my abdomen. This was not helped by the fact that the overhead lights on the subway platform. ’ ‘I’m a fucking barber. Do you see me perming your mom’s hair? Bitch.’ ‘Dude, Relax… Spread the word on Facebook, text fools, text every single chick we know. I’ll trick D’arcy into inviting her hot little fun-sized friends too. Then after networking this party socially, go get the keg. Dos Equis Ambe–‘ ‘Coors Light. Maybe if I styled hair too I could afford Dos Equis.’ ‘But Dos Equi–‘ ‘COORS Light.’ ‘Okay fine, Coors Light. But Mayans, Mexican beer… It would be appropriate, but okay Coors light. I am going to go get drugs and red cups and a table and make Jeff bring his DJ shit over here and all that. Fuck, I’m getting excited. We should make a huge ass beer bong.’ Teddy raised his right hand and opened his palm. ‘Right here bro, up high!’ ‘A gravity bong too!’ Noah said, standing up to give Teddy an over-exaggerated high five like in an 80’s teen movie. ‘I’m going to need a computer.’ ‘Use D’arcy’s laptop. She’s in her room channeling every bit of her teen angst onto the.
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